The first step you are going to have to follow is acting like you couldn’t care less. If she knows you want her back, you are done for. She has to wonder why it is that she was so easy to walk away from; she has to wonder why it is that you don’t need her. Even if you are aching for her every single day (and if you are, pull it together man!), she cannot know it. Do not call her. Do not text. Whatever you do, do not mention her name to mutual friends. If you see her in public accidentally, act aloof and busy. Don’t be a jerk, but don’t be desperate to catch up on every detail of her life either. Behave as though you have other people to see right now; other people who are unfortunately more important.
In portraying this act of a man who doesn’t care, it becomes natural instinct to try to also give this impression by hooking up with a lot of other women. This is a bad move. Dating is one thing, and at a normal pace it is acceptable. If she finds out however, that you have taken half the town to bed; you have just dug yourself a hole so deep you will never crawl out. This may sound counterintuitive, but while you are busy acting as though you don’t care, you also need to be busy not getting busy. Nothing will ruin your chances more than if she decides you have become a man whore.
After a few weeks or months (depending on how long your relationship was initially) have passed of remaining unavailable, it becomes time for you to intentionally put yourself in her line of sight. If you have been doing your job correctly, you should be able to win an invite to an event a mutual friend is throwing, since no one will expect drama at this point. Make a point of going without a date, but if your ex girlfriend shows up with one – remain unfazed. Keep a warm smile on your face, and try to emulate the guy in you it was she initially fell for. If she adored your sense of humor, go out of your way to be especially funny at the event. If she loved how thoughtful you were, watch for her drink to run out and suavely refill her before her date gets a chance. Make brief contact and catch up a little bit, but ensure you aren’t hanging on her. You want to appear as though you are working the room and have other people you want to catch up with as well.
A few days after your run in, shoot her a text message telling her how nice it was to see her and asking if she would like to get together for dinner to catch up. If she says “yes” your foot is pretty much already in the door. You may have to go above and beyond to show her that you are the guy she wants you to be, but your relationship with your ex girlfriend is practically already on track. Pick up a guide with a few tips on how to really woo her back into your life, but if you follow the steps above you will likely find yourself back in her good graces sooner than you would have thought possible.
